Always beloved

I am hesitant to share this, but I had chance to spend some time with a friend who has been part of my inner journey over the past few years. She drew my attention to a few things and I saw again how faithful He is to complete the good work, that he continues to do in us. That through no merit of our own, no deserving flesh of our own, He abundantly gives grace upon grace and takes those of us that are not, those of us that are the weakest, those of us that are the lowest and despised and he confounds the world with us. He is a God of Wonder, a magnificent God, my beloved God. This is how he takes each one of us on that ancient journey of becoming, where we stand at the crossroads and look, we ask for the old paths, where the good way is, and we walk in it. I want to add this from Philip Keller because it is beautiful and absolutely true:
“It is God’s knowledge of me, His careful husbanding of the ground of my being , His constant presence in the garden of my little life that guarantees my joy.
—W. Phillip Keller

I want to tell my story…..I do
Of someone, some one
from the minute I began
An intense gaze watched me forming in my mother’s womb
I was becoming
Already His in love
Already beloved
All Ready to be Loved
And suddenly there I was
Not beautiful
Not lovely
Not loved
I did not know I was already beloved
I just knew I was not loved
By one who dressed me
One who fed me
One who left me
I was not loved
My birth, my beginning
into unlovedness

But His gaze did not waver
His heart expanded for love of me
But I did not know that yet
I stumbled as a baby
I faltered as a child
Striving to find love in the faces of those around me
IF it was there it was hidden, behind masks of indifference
festering beneath, with their own hurt and pain to hide

So I shrank
I became small
Insignificant
and smaller still
Of little worth and smaller matter
So I would not be a nuisance
So I would not be a pain
So I would not be
at all
So Small
So Insignificant
That I could not be seen
at all

But He saw me
He Saw ME
and He knew
and He loved ME
He watched me with deep affection
WIlling to break heaven open
and come down when I was hurt
To rebuke those who bullied me
To race to my defence in front of my accusers
But He saw more
He knew that one day, out of the manure of a life seemingly less lived
out of pain
would come the true glorious beloved child he had always seen
no longer hidden and small
no longer believing herself insignificant or of little value
but walking the path of a journey that began at the cross of brokenness
and continues in brokenness right IN the center of the heart of the Father
ALWAYS Beloved
ALWAYS Accepted
ALWAYS

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