The God Obstacle

Beloved,
God stands in your path, as you march around the mountain, picking flowers as you go, drinking coffee and eating cake.
All you see is an obstacle as you quickly glance ahead, so you carry on chatting, or reading, or flicking through your ipad and move to the left a little to navigate it.
You have done this a few times, and then carried on.
But this time the obstacle is going to move to the left, or the right with you.
As you carry on your conversation with your life you are surprised subconciously that the obstacle is still there, so you keep walking left to move around it as there has always been a way around before.
Suddenly the mountain is before you and you can go left no more, as you turn you subconciously think that surely you can go forward round the mountain again now, but no, the obstacle is still there.  You stand a little, not really engaging with this, conversing with your slowly devolving life, until you begin to feel a little uncomfortable, a little less sure.  Suddenly you are acutely aware of the deep waters below all the froth and the bubbles you have been doggy paddling in for so long.  Your ipad, your phone, your life becomes quiet, and suddenly you hear it… this deep rumbling call to look up.
So you do, …

Advertisements

Deep calling to Deep

Brennan Manning calls it the “furious longing of God”. And I think that is what I feel, this deep within us calling to the deep of God because he is furiously longing for that union with us that calls us higher up and farther in.
When I move out of myself and into him, a movement that is internal, I find him there. This deep calling to deep, this sense of utter rest and peace and calm and solid secure foundation bedrock of life.
When we visit and start talking there is such a sense of union, of being. When we dive down into the rich water of his life in us.
We leave the shallows, the bubbles and froth of the surf, and dive down deep into the still quiet pool of his voice.
There is a place of infinite wonder below the surface of our lives, below the surface of our Journey

 

Counting the cost Luke 14 25 -35

I love testimonies. Of how our walk began with this beloved Saviour. Mine began back in 1976, in a little back water country then called Rhodesia. It really did blow my 14 year old world apart, because suddenly I was loved. I had 3 weeks of literally walking on air, of breathing heaven and then the rubber hit the road. Here is Jesus outlining the cost of following him. There were huge crowds with him, drawn and attracted by his external works. I wonder if this is rather him highlighting an internal sacrifice which could of course lead to external sacrifice but that it is first an internal thing. His 2 greatest commandments are first and 2nd Love God and Love your neighbour, both internal unseen but then expressed externally in works. The work of God in us is first and foremost an internal work of love. I am crucified with Christ nevertheless I live but not I, but CHRIST, That crucifixion is the death of self, the death of the old way of walking, those things that gave us Love, Acceptance, worth and security, those places we went to to feel better about ourselves. He is our place of home now, when the source was restored and we received that free gift of righteousness, we no longer need to plug into those fleshly things, for our Love, acceptance, worth and security, we are now plugged back into the true source of life. This daily dying to self begins with that internal work of knowing it is no longer I who live, the self life, the old man, the fleshly way of surviving in this world, but it is CHRIST who lives in me, it is his work, his doing. That for me has been the true cost, realising that it is not my strengths that are my glory, but my weaknesses because only then can his strength be made perfect. We think it is easy to see flesh, because it looks mean, it looks unkind, it looks selfish, however it doesn’t matter how good, kind, nice I am because if that also comes out of self effort, so from flesh then they are just as much “sin” as any of the obvious “bad” flesh. I exhausted myself being good,kind, nice, helpful because as a good Christian that is what I was supposed to be/do. It took me years to realise that I was still working out of the old man, that there was nothing “I” could do to live the good Christian life, it was impossible. It is only as I saw this, and experienced the revelation of my death so that Christ could LIVE in me, that I saw it was all about Him living his life through me, as me, not my effort to be the “good Christian”. That counting the cost is, for me, that internal dying of self, that all the externals count as dung compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing him.

Finding ourselves

Everything today is geared towards the false self.

To building it up so that we consume consume consume

Our true self, our soul, our deep down human being, is lost amid the trappings of the stuff, the bright lights of fairyland, of tinker bells and peter pans.

We are fractured, splintered, we have lost our true self to become some manufactured doing, performing for validation and adoration

We have re-gowned ourselves with corrupted flesh, in an attempt to cope with overwhelming life

We have forgotten the peace and rest resident in our true self in Christ

We have allowed pain to govern, to rule and snap the gentle ancient path where the good way is.

Come, again bow your head and take hold of the now, the eternal now that is present in Him

Allow it to permeate your present, to reach up out of your soul, your true self and entangle again with the God of Mystery, the God of the eternal now,

The desert and the spring

There is a state of walking this Christian life that is desert like. It is that place that kept the Jews in the wilderness for 40 years. Where they listened to each other, and grumbled and moaned and griped and nothing was good enough. God sent manna, God sent quail, God sent water, but nothing brought gratitude out of their hearts.

This is not because they didnt know God, they had a mountain of fire and smoke, they had miracles galore but what they didnt have was a still small voice.

So they ate dust, dirt, sand… their grumbling words, their mean spiritedness sat like sand on their lips and on their tongues.

They listened to each other not to that still small voice. They were so loud in each others ears that they drowned out any other voice.

We today are so loud in each others ears that we miss the crystal clear life giving water of God, of our Father leading us. We seek our own opinions and others far above and beyond Gods. It is easier to abdicate the throne of our Queen of hearts listening to her King to grovel in the sand with others, than to wait and rest and learn the new walk of the Kingdom. Only in desperate times do we suddenly put our ear to the ground to hear him and the underground spring bursts forth.

We are not in this only for the desperate times. Father longs for us to walk with our hearts joined as one to His, listening in an attentive state ALL the time. Yes it is possible. It is possible to lovingly listen to those who care, but to not let those voices weigh in over and above that voice that is the high call of God, the stream that bubbles underground but longs to burst out and flood the desert.

Fear keeps us locked into the myriad voices that surround us, so much so that we have become used to the sand, it almost tastes like water sometimes. Meanwhile we are becoming dessicated, dried out, husks of our former or possible true selves. And our Queen of hearts is dressed in rags and living like a pauper while super tramp the imposter stomps around our palace throwing his weight around.

Take a moment and back away, empty out all that is in your mouth, let go of all that is upon you and surrounding you, take an hour, a day, and wait and listen, you will hear that tumbling underground river, give it time and keep listening it will grow louder and break out and flood the desert, and your mouth washing away the sand and dirt you have lived on.

It is not easy to get there, because you not only have to stop but you have to wait in the stopping, you have to listen and you have to hang in there. Patience in the waiting, trusting that as you wait, your King is knocking down walls to get to you. Leaping on the high places, pushing over mountains, bringing that cascading river from the depths of your earth, up and out of your mouth, over you through you and filling your desert with the life giving water you so desperately have been dreaming of. and drenching those around you in the overflow.

But you have to wait, he has to break through all the crud and crap of years like sediment in a kettle in a hard water area that has never been cleaned. The “cares of this world” creep up on us so subtly, we think “We have to pay for this, we have to have that, we have to provide this”

This is my experience of a God who answers, who is mystery and yet who is a wide open book for us to walk into every page and live with, in and through.

 

One Love

We are one.  All of us.  Deep in the middle of each and every one of us we know this.  Denied mostly but still true.

The ancient civilisations knew this, so-called primitive, but in reality the most civilised of us all.  Tribal Africans call it Ubuntu.  I am because you are.

Some give persistently into this oneness causing it to grow and thrive but most suck out of it, greedy selfish angry they have no idea they are literally causing a drought, when we see it in the natural – look at California, we also are seeing it in the spiritual, the European refugees are for me an example of this.

When our Beloved made all that is, his breath went into everything, his word into creation and his breath into us.  His word was breath too, no words come without breath.  He literally breathed life into everything, when you study quantum physics you know, everything is alive, everything has breath.  His.

This drought is so much worse because the “church” has bought into the system of the world, the greedy selfish capitalistic world system.  If we truly prayed Paul’s prayer we could not live as we do.

” I pray that out of your glorious riches you would strengthen me with power in my inner man, that Christ may dwell in my heart by faith, that We being rooted and grounded in LOVE may together with all the Saints grasp the length, the breadth the depth and the height and to KNOW this love that surpasses knowledge that we may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  TO Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above and beyond all that we can ask think or imagine according to the power that is at work in us…. to HIM be glory in the church.”

The bride MUST get up and take her place, she MUST.  She CANNOT be part of the sucking dry of the breath of all of us.

We are being called out, being called, those who already know, who are coming to know so that those who are yet to understand have a chance to know.  THIS LOVE, this one LOVE that surpasses Knowledge… oh Church of God, Bride of Christ, lift up your head from the dirt devoid of life and feel the Breath that fills each and every one of us.

The Slamming door

1Pe 5:6  Then be humbled under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in time;
1Pe 5:7  “casting all your anxiety onto Him,” because it matters to Him concerning you.
Why have I forgotten this again?
I still dont believe I matter… that deep down I am worthless
I have to stay wrapped up in your presence
For the longer I am away
The easier it is to become cold
TO be eased outside the door
Until again I am watching from the outside in
It matters to Him concerning you….
AH, oh crud, the lie has unfolded in my heart again
wrapping its tendrils around my bare soul
Opening the path to the pit and tugging me down
But the gentle quiet voice will not be silenced
He whispers inexorably into my broken heart
With tenderness that I am unable to withstand
The lie withers in the fierceness of His love
The unfolding retreats back to the pit from where it came
I am astonished at the small longing in my bare soul for the lie
For the independance it brings,
for the self satisfaction flag it raises over the lonely house
for the pride that sweeps the floors
and the selfishness that slams the isolation shutters
I see the battle in me now, the thorn in my side
The conflict and tension that exist between the old and the new
But He walks these rooms, these floors, flinging wide the doors
My bare dusty soul is swept clean again,
Filled with light and life and grace and Love as
The shutters are flung open and the sun streams in
He is my answer to the broken world I hid from
He is the answer to my broken heart I hid from
I am humbled under His might hand again
I am up from the dust again
He is the ground of my being, again
I lift my eyes to my true Centre,
Again.