Sawubona – “I SEE you”

Mar 2:13  And He went out again by the seaside. And all the crowd came to Him, and He taught them.
Mar 2:14  And as He passed on, He saw Levi the son of Alpheus sitting at the tax-office. And He said to him, Follow Me. And he arose and followed Him.
Mar 2:15  And it happened as Jesus reclined in his house, many tax-collectors and sinners also reclined with Jesus and His disciples. For there were many, and they followed Him.
Mar 2:16  And when the scribes and Pharisees saw Him eat with tax-collectors and sinners, they said to His disciples, How is it that He eats and drinks with tax-collectors and sinners?
Mar 2:17  When Jesus heard, He said to them, They who are strong have no need of a physician, but the ones who have illness. I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
What did you see Lord when you saw Levi. You saw him. “Sawubona”…” I see you”…
You saw a man desperate to be identified and seen and called out. He was a tax collector… he would never have been seen as Levi, he would only have been seen as the dreaded Roman lackey.
Oh goodness then you went to Levis house for dinner!!
The pharisees were so annoyed because you associated with those people. the dregs, the quiet ones, the inconsequential, the less thans. You saw them.
I can hear your “follow me”. You were in the middle of a large crowd, teaching and walking along… yet you saw him, you felt that connection in the midst of all those people and looked up and saw him.
That door opening, that conversation as you looked at Levi.. spirit to spirit.
I can see you motion with your head with a smile on your face.
Levi was poised on his seat, watching you, just itching to get out of his seat.. “shall I”? “No I cant”.. “Shall I…”, he just needed to be seen, and with that “Follow me” he was off.   You knew that and with a smile you gave him freely exactly what he needed because you saw his heart and you loved him.
Then you all went to his house for tea.  You liked doing that.  The pharisees were annoyed!!  Suddenly not part of the clique!
They were used to being the ones with the crowd and being followed and bowed to, and being the IN lot.. but here is Jesus, in the midst of a happy laughing lot of people who are normally passed by and ignored… can you imagine their joy at being seen, at being included, at being loved and brought home for dinner with the man of the hour with power?! He TRUELY saw THEM.
Then I listen to Jessie Duplantis and Kenneth Copeland defending their need for a private jet as there is such a problem being on a normal airline with all  those demons hanging onto us poor folks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdH2DGSXjss
Yet here is Jesus eating with tax collectors and sinners! I dont know either of these men so dont want to malign whatever ministry it is that they have, but what I dont believe I will ever see is either of thwm in  crowd of sinners and tax collecters (so many DEMONS) and then calling another over so they can go to his house for tea.
Something else that struck me in this…
Jesus was not restrained by the Pharisees expectations of him. He walked free. This because he was free. I guess this is what Paul was saying about no longer being under the law but how the Law of the Spirit of life sets us free from the Law of sin and death.
While thinking about the concept of God that keeps us small and reduced, I remembered that for me there was a fear that kept me stepping over that line from doubt to trust. Fear that prevents you moving into the true concept of God. It is safer here becaue you can control the outcome. There are rules, laws, religion. You control what is believable or trustable. Staying in the idol concept of God makes him safe and controlable, he will only do what you expect, which is not a great deal. He is still under your control. When you put a box around God, you create a false god because God cannot be boxed. Stepping away from that and putting that god on the pyre takes great courage because now this G-D of the universe, creator and altogether mystery is in control. You do not know what is going to happen because all is possible. He is in control, he is God. That is surrender. The surrender of any illusion of control.
THinking about “MORE”, Asking the false god of your own making for more is like going to one of those ornamental wells in a garden and dropping a bucket expecting water. A waste.
There is no expectations with God, not because he cant deliver but because expectations underline control. I know that he said Greater things than these…. so I dont have expectations any more I just know.. this is what will happen… greater things, rooted and grounded in love things, mountain moving things, and like we love those God puts in front of us today and live in that type of moment, so it is with the greater things, it is not a future expectation but a living it in the moment.
Does God graciously work within our false concepts.. yes I know he does, but like Jesus could not do much in Nazareth when he went home because they had a false concept of him (is this not Jesus the carpenter… etc) who he can be for us, and who we can be in the world is massively diminished until we step out into the wide horizone that is the Kingdom of God.
In the world but no longer of it
Understanding our freedom is key
Woke up so early this morning again 1:30.  wrote the following
What Now?
Greater Things
Do we have an example?
Jesus?  In his time, before his death there was no new covenant.  Paul/Peter/Apostles.
Are they our “at the very least”, or was that experience at that time just for them and all that is left for now is this?
What do I believe
and
There is fear that keeps you stepping over that line fromdoubt to trust.  Fear that prevents you moving into the true concept of God.  It is safer here becaue you can control the outcome.  You control what you believe or trust.  Staying in the idol concept of God makes him safe and controlable, he will only do what you expect, which is nothing nice.  He is still under your control.  Stepping away from that and putting that god on the pyre take great courage because now this G-D of the universe, creator and altogether mystery is in control.
That is surrender.  Asking the false god of your own making for more lis like going to one of those ornamental wells in a garden and dropping a bucket expecting water.
When you put a box around God, you create a false god because God cannot be boxed

Ocean of God

How much of our life is floating on the ocean of God
Although in reality the whole universe is firmly established on his ocean,
all held together by him  in LOVE and driven by his currents of Mercy and winds of Compassion.
Our head desperately hangs onto an illusion of control.  We dip our  toe into this ocean with trepidation, maybe splash in the waves on the shore a little,  but it really is all an illusion,  there is no shore, we are in the universe on the ocean that is our beloved God.
He loves us so much that he allows us those illusions of control so that our minds are not blown as he gently takes us on a journey into himself.
So we stand on the Island of self – false self, so a figment of our own making -busying our selves with life on this “dry” land.
Again we dip our toe in every now and then but basically live a dry life.
A life that believes it is rooted in earth.  God allows us that Illusion.  coaxing us off the land into a boat.  We climb in the boat, but it has no oar’s, although it is a rowing boat, so most of our self is still on shore.  All an illusion of control as the boat is still tied to the land.  For in reality everything rests in this ocean of God.  Who holds all things together.  Thinking now about the sheer size of God in a very limiting earthly way makes me realise the utterly unique thing that happend when God came into man.
THis 4th, 5th, 10th millionth dimension being, outside yet through space and time took  of this/his infinity and placed it in a child, in a cell to become part of man so we could find ourselves again, although to him we had never been lost.  He has to limit himself to the laws he had to put in place to govern our world at the macro level for quantum laws which are very similar to infinity laws wont look good to our finite eyes at a macro level – everything would fly around and our very finite minds would disintigrate.  So God gave us the God Particle or Higgs bosun, this infinite particle which holds the finite world together.  So apples fall down, things appear predictable while behind the front of the finite everything races around in apparent random chaotic profusion  of Joy.  Controlled by love which purvades everything.
Once you catch this your eyes will start to see miracles all over the place.  so nature becomes just a reflection of finite and infinite in harmony until we stomp through in our jack boots and control fetish.  So infinite God brought infinity together to create finite space and time.  He pulled it all together out of himself and created the tangible, finite 3 dimensional space time continuumn.
Oh Grief
So I stop pretending I can be in control by refusing to “believe” only what my finite senses can detect and I leap out into the vast unfathomable arms of my Father  The ocean that is infinite beloved God.  Love is the power of this ocean, directs its currents and winds.  On a beautiful yacht, sailing the currents and winds, sometimes needing sail and sometimes needing depth and currents

The God Obstacle

Beloved,
God stands in your path, as you march around the mountain, picking flowers as you go, drinking coffee and eating cake.
All you see is an obstacle as you quickly glance ahead, so you carry on chatting, or reading, or flicking through your ipad and move to the left a little to navigate it.
You have done this a few times, and then carried on.
But this time the obstacle is going to move to the left, or the right with you.
As you carry on your conversation with your life you are surprised subconciously that the obstacle is still there, so you keep walking left to move around it as there has always been a way around before.
Suddenly the mountain is before you and you can go left no more, as you turn you subconciously think that surely you can go forward round the mountain again now, but no, the obstacle is still there.  You stand a little, not really engaging with this, conversing with your slowly devolving life, until you begin to feel a little uncomfortable, a little less sure.  Suddenly you are acutely aware of the deep waters below all the froth and the bubbles you have been doggy paddling in for so long.  Your ipad, your phone, your life becomes quiet, and suddenly you hear it… this deep rumbling call to look up.
So you do, …

Deep calling to Deep

Brennan Manning calls it the “furious longing of God”. And I think that is what I feel, this deep within us calling to the deep of God because he is furiously longing for that union with us that calls us higher up and farther in.
When I move out of myself and into him, a movement that is internal, I find him there. This deep calling to deep, this sense of utter rest and peace and calm and solid secure foundation bedrock of life.
When we visit and start talking there is such a sense of union, of being. When we dive down into the rich water of his life in us.
We leave the shallows, the bubbles and froth of the surf, and dive down deep into the still quiet pool of his voice.
There is a place of infinite wonder below the surface of our lives, below the surface of our Journey

 

Counting the cost Luke 14 25 -35

I love testimonies. Of how our walk began with this beloved Saviour. Mine began back in 1976, in a little back water country then called Rhodesia. It really did blow my 14 year old world apart, because suddenly I was loved. I had 3 weeks of literally walking on air, of breathing heaven and then the rubber hit the road. Here is Jesus outlining the cost of following him. There were huge crowds with him, drawn and attracted by his external works. I wonder if this is rather him highlighting an internal sacrifice which could of course lead to external sacrifice but that it is first an internal thing. His 2 greatest commandments are first and 2nd Love God and Love your neighbour, both internal unseen but then expressed externally in works. The work of God in us is first and foremost an internal work of love. I am crucified with Christ nevertheless I live but not I, but CHRIST, That crucifixion is the death of self, the death of the old way of walking, those things that gave us Love, Acceptance, worth and security, those places we went to to feel better about ourselves. He is our place of home now, when the source was restored and we received that free gift of righteousness, we no longer need to plug into those fleshly things, for our Love, acceptance, worth and security, we are now plugged back into the true source of life. This daily dying to self begins with that internal work of knowing it is no longer I who live, the self life, the old man, the fleshly way of surviving in this world, but it is CHRIST who lives in me, it is his work, his doing. That for me has been the true cost, realising that it is not my strengths that are my glory, but my weaknesses because only then can his strength be made perfect. We think it is easy to see flesh, because it looks mean, it looks unkind, it looks selfish, however it doesn’t matter how good, kind, nice I am because if that also comes out of self effort, so from flesh then they are just as much “sin” as any of the obvious “bad” flesh. I exhausted myself being good,kind, nice, helpful because as a good Christian that is what I was supposed to be/do. It took me years to realise that I was still working out of the old man, that there was nothing “I” could do to live the good Christian life, it was impossible. It is only as I saw this, and experienced the revelation of my death so that Christ could LIVE in me, that I saw it was all about Him living his life through me, as me, not my effort to be the “good Christian”. That counting the cost is, for me, that internal dying of self, that all the externals count as dung compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing him.

Finding ourselves

Everything today is geared towards the false self.

To building it up so that we consume consume consume

Our true self, our soul, our deep down human being, is lost amid the trappings of the stuff, the bright lights of fairyland, of tinker bells and peter pans.

We are fractured, splintered, we have lost our true self to become some manufactured doing, performing for validation and adoration

We have re-gowned ourselves with corrupted flesh, in an attempt to cope with overwhelming life

We have forgotten the peace and rest resident in our true self in Christ

We have allowed pain to govern, to rule and snap the gentle ancient path where the good way is.

Come, again bow your head and take hold of the now, the eternal now that is present in Him

Allow it to permeate your present, to reach up out of your soul, your true self and entangle again with the God of Mystery, the God of the eternal now,

The desert and the spring

There is a state of walking this Christian life that is desert like. It is that place that kept the Jews in the wilderness for 40 years. Where they listened to each other, and grumbled and moaned and griped and nothing was good enough. God sent manna, God sent quail, God sent water, but nothing brought gratitude out of their hearts.

This is not because they didnt know God, they had a mountain of fire and smoke, they had miracles galore but what they didnt have was a still small voice.

So they ate dust, dirt, sand… their grumbling words, their mean spiritedness sat like sand on their lips and on their tongues.

They listened to each other not to that still small voice. They were so loud in each others ears that they drowned out any other voice.

We today are so loud in each others ears that we miss the crystal clear life giving water of God, of our Father leading us. We seek our own opinions and others far above and beyond Gods. It is easier to abdicate the throne of our Queen of hearts listening to her King to grovel in the sand with others, than to wait and rest and learn the new walk of the Kingdom. Only in desperate times do we suddenly put our ear to the ground to hear him and the underground spring bursts forth.

We are not in this only for the desperate times. Father longs for us to walk with our hearts joined as one to His, listening in an attentive state ALL the time. Yes it is possible. It is possible to lovingly listen to those who care, but to not let those voices weigh in over and above that voice that is the high call of God, the stream that bubbles underground but longs to burst out and flood the desert.

Fear keeps us locked into the myriad voices that surround us, so much so that we have become used to the sand, it almost tastes like water sometimes. Meanwhile we are becoming dessicated, dried out, husks of our former or possible true selves. And our Queen of hearts is dressed in rags and living like a pauper while super tramp the imposter stomps around our palace throwing his weight around.

Take a moment and back away, empty out all that is in your mouth, let go of all that is upon you and surrounding you, take an hour, a day, and wait and listen, you will hear that tumbling underground river, give it time and keep listening it will grow louder and break out and flood the desert, and your mouth washing away the sand and dirt you have lived on.

It is not easy to get there, because you not only have to stop but you have to wait in the stopping, you have to listen and you have to hang in there. Patience in the waiting, trusting that as you wait, your King is knocking down walls to get to you. Leaping on the high places, pushing over mountains, bringing that cascading river from the depths of your earth, up and out of your mouth, over you through you and filling your desert with the life giving water you so desperately have been dreaming of. and drenching those around you in the overflow.

But you have to wait, he has to break through all the crud and crap of years like sediment in a kettle in a hard water area that has never been cleaned. The “cares of this world” creep up on us so subtly, we think “We have to pay for this, we have to have that, we have to provide this”

This is my experience of a God who answers, who is mystery and yet who is a wide open book for us to walk into every page and live with, in and through.