There is such a simplicity in this journey, isn’t there? Because it is all about Love. A leaning into, a falling into a Love that defies any of the explanations, managings or “doings” that the overuse of the word has placed on it. As I ponder our journey into this Love, again I am brought back to the bride that He is calling out and causing to stand on this earth. We are a chosen people, a holy nation, a royal priesthood, a spectacular bride without spot or wrinkle. Not because we have done anything to arrive at such splendour but because he has loved us, furiously loved us. And as we have turned into this love, as we would into the wind, we have caught his gaze and begun to see ourselves as he sees us.
It seems to me that I lived unloved because one day I would truly know what it was to be loved. Because one day I would find this. Union with the God who utterly and totally loves me as he loves himself, this Godhead of union That we are inextricably joined with because someone made a way. Now there is no separation, none, nothing !
Leaning into love. Leaning into the vast solid presence of a beloved Father. Pain does not disappear! Why?
Well, because Life happens. Daily.
AH but this vast solid presence of a Father who loves me? That makes the difference. I am beloved. Life is a journey, a walk on the wild side, from birth to death. Choices! Everywhere.. You are born screaming and the human journey of breathing in and breathing out through this jungle of emotions is a journey of screamings . Gloriously happy to achingly sad. To remove one is to remove all and give a lie to freedom in those choices But through it all He is our solid constant. He does not change, he holds us, if we let him He stares into the abyss with us. He sits in the mud of depression with us. He laughs with delight with us. IF WE LET HIM BE PRESENT FOR US, And hide no longer.
I wonder that we see a “Christian” culture of entitlement in “church”. Where, as long as we think we can name it and claim it, gab it and grab it,and that God should prevent something happening because WE know best; he will remain an idol “enemy”, an external god of the big stick, instead of our friend and our beloved. When we embrace that HE is God. That he allows in his wisdom that which he could easily prevent with his power. When we embrace this whole life journey filled with joy AND pain, with him as our companion and guide and mentor and Father and friend and lover and utter beloved, embraced utterly and in union. Then, whether the waves are calm or stormy, he is our helmsman. He is our anchor, our collaborator, he is the one we scream with joy or pain with. Then we will be content in all circumstances… When we make him a foreign god, an “enemy” instead of our friend. When we hold him at bay instead of embracing him. When we hold life at bay instead of embracing it. When we hide instead of running with our head thrown back and mouth wide open tasting the rain. We become a tiny portion of who we were called to be. A tiny little piece of our glorious life as it was meant to be. This glorious mess, this glorious overgrown mess.
Mostly because I did not allow him to be utterly embraced in all of it. I tried to hide from him as they did in the garden. Instead of being gloriously naked and unashamed. He in me and I in Him – Union.
Thank GOD that this is a journey, a wild ocean and not a stagnant pond. And this is that journey, that journey into Him where we experience life IN HIM And HE experiences LIFE in us It is no longer I who live, but CHRIST who lives in me. THAT is life, experienced in ALL its fullness.