The Slamming door

1Pe 5:6  Then be humbled under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in time;
1Pe 5:7¬† “casting all your anxiety onto Him,” because it matters to Him concerning you.
Why have I forgotten this again?
I still dont believe I matter… that deep down I am worthless
I have to stay wrapped up in your presence
For the longer I am away
The easier it is to become cold
TO be eased outside the door
Until again I am watching from the outside in
It matters to Him concerning you….
AH, oh crud, the lie has unfolded in my heart again
wrapping its tendrils around my bare soul
Opening the path to the pit and tugging me down
But the gentle quiet voice will not be silenced
He whispers inexorably into my broken heart
With tenderness that I am unable to withstand
The lie withers in the fierceness of His love
The unfolding retreats back to the pit from where it came
I am astonished at the small longing in my bare soul for the lie
For the independance it brings,
for the self satisfaction flag it raises over the lonely house
for the pride that sweeps the floors
and the selfishness that slams the isolation shutters
I see the battle in me now, the thorn in my side
The conflict and tension that exist between the old and the new
But He walks these rooms, these floors, flinging wide the doors
My bare dusty soul is swept clean again,
Filled with light and life and grace and Love as
The shutters are flung open and the sun streams in
He is my answer to the broken world I hid from
He is the answer to my broken heart I hid from
I am humbled under His might hand again
I am up from the dust again
He is the ground of my being, again
I lift my eyes to my true Centre,
Again.
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Being, in stillness

I was reading 1Kings 19:11 to 13, and as I am learning about coming to a stop and it is a wonderful learning, had delight in digging into this..

Ki 19:11 ” And he said, Go out and stand on the mountain before Jehovah. And, behold, Jehovah passed by, and a great and strong wind tearing the mountains and breaking the rocks in bits before Jehovah! Jehovah was not in the wind. And after the wind was an earthquake, but Jehovah was not in the earthquake.
1Ki 19:12 And after the earthquake was a fire, but Jehovah was not in the fire; and after the fire came a sound of gentle stillness and a still, small voice
1Ki 19:13 And it happened when Elijah heard, he wrapped his face in his robe and went out and stood at the cave opening; and, behold, a voice came to him, and it said, What are you doing here, Elijah? ”

You stand on the Mountain before me, and you have been excited by the great strong wind
You jump for joy as it tears the mountains and breaks the rocks in bits before me.
You gaze around to see who is witnessing what your God is able to do, but no one is looking.
Because I am not in the wind.
You are wide eyed in awe as the earthquake rocks the ground and again you search around to see who is witnessing what I can do,
but no one is aware, because I am not in the Earthquake
And then a fire that glows white hot, again no one notices, for I am not in the fire.
As you sit bewildered, there comes a stillness and a still small voice, and you know that God is here and you will be still and know, for I am in the stillness, it is my voice you hear in the quiet..
and suddenly all eyes are on you, the bride, for I am in the stillness, I am in the still small voice and I ask “What are you doing here….?”

This is not a damning question, “What ARE you DOING here ?!!” as if God wonders what on earth are we doing on this spot!!
But a question that asks us to dig deep and examine our hearts, to stand at the entrance to this place of quiet and discover why each of us is here,
To be at the entrance to this stillness and find our place in it .
This is a question to help us discover our place in this, to hear God’s still small voice to ME, to YOU in this stillness.
To pull us aside from the wind, the earthquake and the fire so we can hear the heartbeat of God in the stillness of silence.
This is a question he is going to ask us all. TO give us each the call to go deep and hear his still small voice at the entrance to this stillness so that we each find our unique place in this new yet ancient journey together with him.