Ocean of God

How much of our life is floating on the ocean of God
Although in reality the whole universe is firmly established on his ocean,
all held together by him  in LOVE and driven by his currents of Mercy and winds of Compassion.
Our head desperately hangs onto an illusion of control.  We dip our  toe into this ocean with trepidation, maybe splash in the waves on the shore a little,  but it really is all an illusion,  there is no shore, we are in the universe on the ocean that is our beloved God.
He loves us so much that he allows us those illusions of control so that our minds are not blown as he gently takes us on a journey into himself.
So we stand on the Island of self – false self, so a figment of our own making -busying our selves with life on this “dry” land.
Again we dip our toe in every now and then but basically live a dry life.
A life that believes it is rooted in earth.  God allows us that Illusion.  coaxing us off the land into a boat.  We climb in the boat, but it has no oar’s, although it is a rowing boat, so most of our self is still on shore.  All an illusion of control as the boat is still tied to the land.  For in reality everything rests in this ocean of God.  Who holds all things together.  Thinking now about the sheer size of God in a very limiting earthly way makes me realise the utterly unique thing that happend when God came into man.
THis 4th, 5th, 10th millionth dimension being, outside yet through space and time took  of this/his infinity and placed it in a child, in a cell to become part of man so we could find ourselves again, although to him we had never been lost.  He has to limit himself to the laws he had to put in place to govern our world at the macro level for quantum laws which are very similar to infinity laws wont look good to our finite eyes at a macro level – everything would fly around and our very finite minds would disintigrate.  So God gave us the God Particle or Higgs bosun, this infinite particle which holds the finite world together.  So apples fall down, things appear predictable while behind the front of the finite everything races around in apparent random chaotic profusion  of Joy.  Controlled by love which purvades everything.
Once you catch this your eyes will start to see miracles all over the place.  so nature becomes just a reflection of finite and infinite in harmony until we stomp through in our jack boots and control fetish.  So infinite God brought infinity together to create finite space and time.  He pulled it all together out of himself and created the tangible, finite 3 dimensional space time continuumn.
Oh Grief
So I stop pretending I can be in control by refusing to “believe” only what my finite senses can detect and I leap out into the vast unfathomable arms of my Father  The ocean that is infinite beloved God.  Love is the power of this ocean, directs its currents and winds.  On a beautiful yacht, sailing the currents and winds, sometimes needing sail and sometimes needing depth and currents

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Fear is not the final word

A couple of things happened this week (yes it is only Tuesday!) which ticked all my “enneagram” #5 boxes. I found myself withdrawing into my safe place again, my protected, safe, introverted space where only carefully vetted people and circumstances penetrate.
It didnt feel like fear, it felt like this wider space that I know God has called me into was too exhausting, too time consuming and just too much effort when my physical circumstances are so hard right now. I had all the excuses stacked up in my head.. I’m exhasuted Lord, I’m in pain Lord, I’m working Lord, I, I, I, I… just feel safer here right now, thank you Lord but no thanks.
Then I read Terry Hershey’s “Sabbath moment” early this morning. He pulls no punches and captures totally where my heart is at, even if my head is elsewhere.
He says:

“Is it possible to live from wholehearted vulnerability?”
“Fear says, “I’ll make you safe.”
Love says, “You are safe.”
But here’s the deal: If you live from the heart, it may (or will) hurt. You may be misunderstood. You may be called crazy. People will shake their heads (or, like Hachi, pat you on the head) and remind you, “He’s not coming back.”
It doesn’t matter who we are, there are times when we are certain that we are not enough. What we say is not enough. The work we do is not enough.How long we wait is not enough.
Even so, I want to know in my heart–like Hachi, like Jacob–that fear is not the final word. ”

You need to read his whole Sabbath Moment to get the context http://www.terryhershey.com/fear-is-not-the-final-word/

In this very uncomfortable place, this zone of no comfort, this place where vulnerability is all you have and yet because it is such an anathema to others you receive judgment as having an agenda or … well actually I don’t know what the or’s are.
Wholehearted vulnerability receives a pat on the back, it has become a buzz word, a tag to add to your facebook or twitter feed, but don’t live it… whatever you do don’t live it.. because it’s a broken place, and like the homeless person on the street, people will pass you by averting their eyes.
BUT… I realise my heart loves this place, I quite like being that homeless person, there is freedom in not having to wear the trappings of my old protected self, encased in an identity that people feel safe with, are not uncomfortable dealing with.
So what to do, do I stay with what my heart knows, what my heart KNOWS or do I crawl back into the other space for a while just for a bit of respite? Although that is my head space, it really is a no brainer, I KNOW whom I have believed 2Ti 1:12 …. “Still I am not ashamed, for I know Him Whom I have believed and am convinced of, and I am utterly persuaded that He is able to guard and keep that which has been entrusted to me and which I have committed to Him until that day. ”
So, the climb goes on.

One Love

We are one.  All of us.  Deep in the middle of each and every one of us we know this.  Denied mostly but still true.

The ancient civilisations knew this, so-called primitive, but in reality the most civilised of us all.  Tribal Africans call it Ubuntu.  I am because you are.

Some give persistently into this oneness causing it to grow and thrive but most suck out of it, greedy selfish angry they have no idea they are literally causing a drought, when we see it in the natural – look at California, we also are seeing it in the spiritual, the European refugees are for me an example of this.

When our Beloved made all that is, his breath went into everything, his word into creation and his breath into us.  His word was breath too, no words come without breath.  He literally breathed life into everything, when you study quantum physics you know, everything is alive, everything has breath.  His.

This drought is so much worse because the “church” has bought into the system of the world, the greedy selfish capitalistic world system.  If we truly prayed Paul’s prayer we could not live as we do.

” I pray that out of your glorious riches you would strengthen me with power in my inner man, that Christ may dwell in my heart by faith, that We being rooted and grounded in LOVE may together with all the Saints grasp the length, the breadth the depth and the height and to KNOW this love that surpasses knowledge that we may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  TO Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above and beyond all that we can ask think or imagine according to the power that is at work in us…. to HIM be glory in the church.”

The bride MUST get up and take her place, she MUST.  She CANNOT be part of the sucking dry of the breath of all of us.

We are being called out, being called, those who already know, who are coming to know so that those who are yet to understand have a chance to know.  THIS LOVE, this one LOVE that surpasses Knowledge… oh Church of God, Bride of Christ, lift up your head from the dirt devoid of life and feel the Breath that fills each and every one of us.

The Gift

We all have been given the gift of our true authentic selves. That self we see when we catch his gaze. If we are willing to recognize what He sees, nothing will ever be the same again.

I wait in your presence,
not just around me but in me
reaching each dusty unused corner of my soul
I dont wait for revelation
or fireworks
for fierce words
or whispers on the wind
I just wait
Being
me
in
you
wrapped in you

You are the fraction in my soul that makes a whole
makes me whole
The fracture in my soul that lets the light in
You are the light, the LIGHT
that exploded through the fracture
and told me the TRUTH,
told me plainly,
no bullsh*t, no baffle just
steak on my plate, while I wait.
“This is you, sweetheart, here you are”
and you give me ME, like a unexpected gift,
not a birthday or Christmas, a
just because GIFT,
from YOU to me,
A gift for sharing
for exploring
not for hiding
for ignoring
so I am being
undone, unwrapped,
uncreased
BEING
Me